Loosing Trust
by catiegirl916010
Summary: a different way of Lorelai finding out about April, sort of. It's really what happens with Luke afterwards. meant for episode 6.12
1. Chapter 1

A/N: ok so this is my first fic, i know the first chapter is really short, but i have the second chapter ready to go so after i get some reviews i'll post it if you like this one. HUGE credit goes to Suz for helping me with this and for the title, thanks so much girl!

Loosing Trust

Lorelai walked into the diner that evening looking for Luke. The place was fairly empty except for Kirk, of course, and a little girl she had never seen before. She was sitting at the counter with a burger and some fries in front of her. Curly, red hair was sticking out in all directions, and she had a book with her. She looked to be all of 11 or 12.

"Luke!" Lorelai called. "Luuke? Where are you?"

"He went up stairs for a few minutes," the girl informed her.

"Oh, thanks." Lorelai replied. She debated to ask the girl how she knew Luke, but decided against it.

She started to walk up stairs when the girl called, "I don't think he'll want you to go up there. He usually gets pretty weird when people come into his apartment."

Lorelai, clearly confused now as to how this girl would know such a thing about Luke, replied, "Oh. Um, I'm uh - " She started over, "How do you know Luke?"

The girl looked up from her book and set the bookmark in its place. "Oh, I'm his daughter, April. He just recently found out about me."

Suddenly it felt as though a giant man was sitting on her lungs. She couldn't breathe. After what seemed like an eternity, she managed to choke out a strangled, "His daughter?"

April nodded her head matter-of-factly. "Yup."

Her legs felt like jello. It felt as if the world was crashing down around her. She sat down on a stool to regain her balance, when Luke came down the stairs. He stopped, looked over at April, clearly panicked and then back at Lorelai.

She felt the tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. With one look at Luke and then back at April, she was up and out of the diner within 10 seconds. "Lorelai wait!" Luke yelled.

Lorelai may have hated exercise, but years of power shopping had taught her how to walk fast. Luke was half jogging to catch up to her. He managed to catch her arm before she could walk past the gazebo. "Lorelai, please," he said almost breathlessly, "Let me explain. I was going to tell you."

"Let go of me Luke," Lorelai said with force. But Luke didn't let go. He attempted to turn Lorelai toward him, which resulted in him loosening his grip, sending Lorelai off on a power walk again.

"Lorelai! Just let me explain! You don't even know what happened, or how it happened. I had to think it over. I needed to think it over!" he yelled desperately, willing her to understand.

Lorelai turned to him, nostrils flaring, tears streaking her cheeks. "You said no secrets." She said in a tone that made his heart want to break into a million pieces. "You promised me Luke, I promised you and you promised me. No secrets."

"You haven't even giv…" but he was cut off by Lorelai's piercing voice.

"How long have you known?" she asked.

"What?"

"You heard me, how long have you known?" she yelled.

"2 months," he said quietly.

She turned away from him and the tears started again, no matter how much she tried to will them away. "2 months." She repeated slowly. She began walking again.

"Where are you going?" Luke asked, his voice desperate again.

"I'm going to my house. And I think it's best if you sleep at your apartment tonight." Lorelai said a little bitterly.

"Lorelai, come on," pleaded Luke.

"No, Luke. I will not come on. Do not follow me home. I need time to think about this."

"Are we still…" Luke trailed off.

"Are we still what, Luke?" Lorelai asked, irritated.

"Are we still getting married?" he asked quietly.

Lorelai turned to face Luke. Before continuing back to her house she said quietly, "I don't know."

His face fell. He couldn't lose her again. There was just no way. He waited for her for 8 years.

And with a hushed, "No," He watched as the woman he loved most walk away from him. And he didn't know how long it would be until she would be back.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: well here is the second part. I don't know if there will be a third part or not. I'm having kind of a block. Once again, thanks to Suz and Amanda (who I forgot to credit in the first chapter, my apologies) this story would not be the same without them! This chapter is a little longer, and could be the last, I haven't decided yet. This chapter is now just my speculations, which are more than likely not going to happen. For those of you who wanted to know what the spoiler was in the first chapter it was that Lorelai finds out, not how she reacts, that was just my imagination . Thanks for reading and thanks to all of you who reviewed!

Disclaimer: yes I know I forgot one in the first chapter so here it is- I, sadly, own absolutely nothing.

Chapter 2 

The two weeks when him and Lorelai were broken up were the worst two weeks of his life. He knew it, she knew it, everyone knew it.

The dark circles under his eyes, his unshaven face, his mood. It was all a flashback. An unwanted flashback. His eyes had been bloodshot from crying. Luke didn't cry very often. When his mom died, when his dad died, and now. Some would say he cried when he found out that Lorelai and Max were engaged, but he would never admit to it.

It had been 3 days. 3 days since he last talked to Lorelai. 3 days since he had desperately tried to explain why he hadn't told her about April. It had been almost 20 times, however, when he found himself walking to her house and then turning around when he got to her driveway. 20 times he had almost gone over there. And 20 times he had come back.

She needed time to think. He got that, really he did. He needed time to think too, especially about April. But it had been three days since she had any contact with him at all. 3 days since she had come in for coffee, 3 days since he talked to her, hell 3 days since he had even seen her.

"Dammit!" he yelled loudly. He was in the kitchen of the diner thinking of the last time he saw her. She looked crushed. She needed someone to be there for her, and for once, it couldn't be him. That in itself was heartbreaking to him. He was always her life preserver, _always._ He was always there no matter what. She counted on him for everything. And this time, he had let her down, and he had no idea how to fix it.

For the past 3 days, he could only keep the diner open for half of the day. He couldn't focus. He would burn the food beyond recognition. If he kept the diner open for the regular hours, he would lose more business than he already had. He needed to see her. 'It's been 3 days, dammit!' It felt as though he thought that every 10 seconds. He needed to do something, but he didn't know what.

The last time she had seen Luke was 3 days ago. She missed him so much, and yet she was so angry with him at the same time. She knew he had almost come over. She saw him come and then turn around at least 10 times. He probably came more than that, but she wouldn't know.

The first time she saw him, she wanted to run out there and tell him to get the hell out. The second time she saw him, she could tell he had been crying. She almost felt bad, but then reminded herself that he was why she was crying. The third time, it had been almost impossible to not just run out there and hold him. But she held strong. Just like she always did.

She couldn't go into their new bedroom. She couldn't sleep in that bed without him there. It felt…wrong. She needed him so badly, but 2 months? Who keeps that sort of information from a person for 2 months? Especially since she was his fiancé. It wasn't even the fact that Luke had a kid that bothered her. It was that he couldn't trust her.

Almost instantly the tears started again. Why couldn't he trust her? What happened to the 'no secrets' talk they had? She didn't understand. If he needed time to think it over, she could completely understand that. Maybe a week or so. But 2 months? _How_, how did he justify that to himself?

She walked into the bathroom and pulled out the aspirin bottle for what seemed like the thousandth time that week. Just walking into that bathroom made her want to cry. She needed him. He was her life preserver. He kept her on her feet. Without him, the world was just black and white. She couldn't do black and white. She needed something more, something with color. And that something was him. Without him she was nothing, she knew it, and he knew it.

She took the aspirin and then walked back downstairs. There he was again, walking towards the house. She wanted him to just come in so badly, and yet she wanted to punch him and hurt him just as much as he had hurt her.

She watched him through the window. He got to where the Jeep was parked and turned around, walking towards the garage. She was really confused now, so she followed him out to the garage. Lorelai walked over to the doors and without being seen, carefully watched Luke.

His face was unshaven, he was tired and it looked as though he'd been crying. His face was set in determination. Running his hands over the boat and staring at it intently, as if it were the only thing in the world or it had some hidden secret. He walked around the boat, and seeing a chink in the wood, he started to pick at it. After a few minutes of that, he rested his arms on the side of the boat, placing his head in between his arms.

Suddenly, his whole body started to shake. Was Luke…crying? She had never seen him cry before. No, there's no way he could possibly be crying. Luke was a strong man. He never showed his emotions. He didn't dare. Lorelai's eyes started to glaze over. She did her best to will the tears away, but they fell anyways.

Slowly, she opened the doors and walked over to Luke. He didn't hear the doors open, and he was still shaking slightly. Lorelai took a deep breath and placed her hand on his arm.

"Luke," she whispered. Luke must have jumped 5 feet in the air. He didn't respond, but looked down at his shoes, embarrassed that he had been caught in such a personal moment. "Luke, what are you doing out here?" Lorelai asked cautiously. She put her index finger under his chin and tipped his head up so he was looking at her. "Huh?" she whispered again.

"I, um. I just needed to…have some time," he gestured with his hands towards the boat, "to, um," he cleared his throat and swiped at his eyes, "to talk to my dad," he finished quietly.

Lorelai felt the tears threatening to spill over again. She reached up and wiped the tears from Luke's face. "Luke, why didn't you trust me?"

"I do trust you," he answered honestly.

"Huh, that's funny. Because if I remember correctly, you kept the fact that you had a kid from me for 2 months," Lorelai retorted.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have kept it from you that long. But when I found out, Rory had just come back," he took a deep breath, "and you were _so_ happy." He paused, "I couldn't take that away from you." Lorelai was crying again and he reached up to wipe away her tears, just as she had. "Then it just became easier not to tell you."

Lorelai gave a little smile and took a deep, shaky breath, "Are you telling me that you didn't tell me about your daughter because mine had finally come home?" Luke nodded. "You are way too good for me," she breathed and flung her arms around Luke's neck. "I'm sorry for what I said."

Luke scrunched up his face as he hugged her tightly, "What did you say?"

"About the marriage thing."

"Oh." His voice was suddenly quiet again.

"Yeah," she whispered and pulled back from the hug. "But you still have a lot of explaining to do, mister."

"I know," he said looking down at her with a smile.

"If this 'no secrets' thing is going to work, it has to go both ways ok?"

"Yeah," he replied, his voice a little more gruff.

"So let's go inside, and you can make some of your fabulous coffee and then we can talk." She explained.

He looked at her for a long moment and wondered for the thousandth time how he ever got so lucky as to have someone like her. "Sounds good," he replied with a small smile.

They walked back inside to their house, hand in hand, both feeling much better than they had the past 3 days.


End file.
